Harry Whoppers
by anotherMCRcrazedfan
Summary: A whacky story from the minds of me and my friend. Nikki is the daughter of Gerard Way. She is on tour with the band and they decide to let Nikki stop off and see an old friend. Enjoy their journey! One-shot.


Harry Whoppers

Nikki POV

I walked onto the bus with a half eaten bag of popcorn and what was left of a corndog on a stick. I walked over to my dad.

"Where are we going next?" I asked him, shoving popcorn in my mouth. I took some out of the bag and threw it at him when he didn't answer me.

He laughed, saying "Peachtree, Alabama." I jumped up with glee, losing some of my popcorn.

"That's where one of my best guy-friends lives! We should go see him!" I exclaimed.

I shoved the rest of my corndog into my mouth. He laughed and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. Before he could say anything, Frank walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked, as he too grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I watched him shove it in his mouth. My dad smirked at him, and whispered something in his ear. I can only imagine what was going through his head.... Not that head you sickos! I refrained from laughing.

"We're talking about how we are going through Peachtree, Alabama, and how one of my friends lives there. We should see him, don't you think?" I asked, whishing I had another corndog.

I saw Bob walk onto the bus and he had a corndog! I ran over to him and snatched it out of his hands. I went back over to my dad and Frank, leaving Bob speechless and whimpering. He left the bus, probably to get another corndog, which I was going to steal from him later. Bob knows not to mess with me. He doesn't like to talk about the last time he pissed me off...

Finally getting back to my conversation, I shoved most of the corndog in my mouth, and said, "So what do you guys think about going to see my friend?" I really needed to pee, but I couldn't really leave the conversation right now. I needed to know if I was going to see my friend or not. And we'd have to wait until we stop, because I don't know about you, but I am NOT using the bathroom on this bus. I silently gagged to myself as I thought about the other night...

My dad grabbed another handful of my popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. He said, "Her, I yount fare. Fee fan't sley ooh onge, fee harve to git bark own fea rood." I burst out laughing, popcorn flying everywhere.

"What the fuck was that?!" Frank said, laughing his ass off.

Dad laughed and said, "Sure, I don't care. We can't stay too long, we have to get back on the road." I jumped with glee again, losing more popcorn. I realized the bus had stopped, and I went to find the nearest bathroom. I had to pee mofo's!

***

After I had relieved myself, I ran back, hoping that they didn't leave me here. As I was on my way back, I thought of a plan. A master plan. An evil, dastardly plan. I smiled to myself as I hoped on the bus.

I sat down on the couch next to Bob who had just taken the last bite of his corndog, and Ray who was playing video games. I looked at Bob and asked him where my uncle was. He shook his head and said, "Probably in bed."

I smirked, "Alone?"

He shook his head, "Yes, alone." He looked back at the TV and shook his head, laughing. We sat in silence; all that could be heard was the sound of Ray's video game, for about ten minutes.

My dad walked past us and said, "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

"Well I guess you're going to bed alone," Frank said.

"...fine..." my dad faked being mad and 'stormed' off to the bunk area, 'pissed'.

Frank smirked and sat down, basically on my lap. He looked at me, and cradled my head in his hands.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" he asked. I knew he was only kidding around, but I felt the need to answer anyway.

"Well, I have an idea. And it includes all of us," I said, looking around at the guys. Ray shut off his game, and Bob put his arm around my shoulders.

"Well, are you going to tell us or will we have to force it out of you?" I threw the rest of my popcorn at Frank, most of it falling off and landing on me. He started picking up the pieces and eating them, which I found gross, and disturbing, because they were in that area... OK, most of the things Frank do I find gross and disturbing. I mean, he does my dad, which is pretty gross and disturbing, but yet so fun to watch.

When I heard my dad's soft snores, I knew it was safe to go on.

"Well, I was thinking that we should come up with a new nickname for dad. I was thinking, Harry Whoppers." They all just looked at me like I was on crack, which I'm not, and all burst out laughing.

"What possessed you to come up with that?" Bob asked me. I just smiled.

"I have my reasons... So, what do you guys think?" They all nodded, especially Frank, who seemed eager to start calling him that. I wonder what was going through his head... Again, NOT that head you sicko's!

"OK, so it's settled then? We all call dad Harry Whoppers from now on?" Everyone said 'yes' and we all shook on it. I laughed, thinking about the last thought I thought about thinking, I think? Anyway, I smiled and decided to let the guys in on the new thought that I thought about telling them, to see what they thought about my thought.

"OK and here's something else. Whenever dad asks you a question, you have to answer, 'Harry Whoppers'." They all laughed and agreed to that thought just like I thought that they would think.

"I have to pee, so get off me Frank, or I will pee on you." Frank smirked.

"Do you really want to pee on the bus?"

"No I don't want to pee on the bus, I want to pee in the toilet that is in the bus, I think..." I smiled and pushed him off of me. He fell to the floor with a thud. I laughed and ran towards the bathroom. I didn't care, I had to pee.

When I came out of the bathroom after peeing, which by the way, felt very refreshing, all the guys were in their bunks. Feeling used, I went to go talk to Brian who was driving the bus, to see where we were.

I sat down on his lap and asked him where we were. He said, "Just getting into Alabama." I smiled.

"How much longer until we reach Peachtree, Alabama?" I asked.

"Harry Whoppers!"

"So you were listening?" I said. He didn't reply.

I soon became bored so I kissed him on the cheek and said goodnight. He nodded and I got off of his lap. I made my way out of the cab and into the bunk area, where I was suppost to sleep. I usually crawl in bed with Frank, who is usually in bed with dad... I mean, Harry Whoppers. But tonight I decided to crawl in bed with Bob. I was thinking about ripping his shirt off, and doing naughty things with him, because it had been months since I had gotten laid! I knew I should have brought Ryan with me. But

I wasn't attracted to Bob like that, so I just cuddled up to my big teddy bear.

***

"Wakey, wakey, Frankie! Eggs and veggie bakey!" Frank slapped me.

"Go away! It's too early," he said. I slapped him back and laughed.

"Frank, it's almost noon. Get Harry Whoppers up because breakfast is almost ready."

I walked out of the bunk area and into the living area. Can I ask you a question? Why is it called a living room exactly? I mean, you live everywhere you go, so everywhere would be a living area, unless you're dead of course. Then it would be a deading area, right? Anyway, back to what was happening before.

Uncle Mikey handed me a plate of eggs and veggie bakey. We were also having pancakes. I love pancakes... They're so... cakey. But they're made in pans. So I guess that's why they call them pancakes. Just put two and two together, and you get flying monkeys! Don't ask me where that came from.

"So, where is Harry?" Mikey asked. I guess the guys had informed him of our little plan, since he was asleep the whole time. I smiled and told him that they were hopefully getting up.

Not two seconds after I said that, Frank and Harry came out from the bunk area and into the living area.

"Good morning Frank. Good morning Harry Whoppers." Bob said, with a straight face. I was so proud of him! I felt like ripping his shirt off again...

I quickly got over that thought because I couldn't stop thinking about Harry Whoppers. It just kept replaying over and over in my head, like a broken record. Maybe I just have a fucked up head, no pun intended...

Brian announced that we would be arriving in Peachtree in a few hours. I was really happy that we were going to be seeing my friend soon. I hadn't seen him in forever and I couldn't wait to tell him everything.

I finished my cakey goodness that was made in a pan. Not in Japan, a pan. Haha. I walked over to my dad, and stood as close as humanly possible to him. I tried to keep from laughing, but it was very difficult. He tried to take a step away from me, but I just moved closer.

He sighed, "Nikki, what the fuck are you doing?"

I shook my head, "Nothing Harry Whoppers. What are you doing?"

In a flash, Frank was by my dad's side. He put his arm around his waist, and smirked, "Not me obviously!"

I slowly backed away from them. I kept walking backwards until I hit something big and furry. I turned around and smiled. It was Bob! Shocked, Bob backed away from me. And soon enough, everyone was backing into each other.

I found it hilarious when Frank bumped into my dad. They both smiled and gave each other 'that look'. I had a very good idea of what was going though their heads. Yes, those heads too. I laughed even harder when Bob backed into Mikey and they gave each other 'that look'. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Mikey moved closer to Bob and he put his hands on his shoulders. Bob smirked and winked at Mikey as they fell to the ground, Mikey on top.

I couldn't believe what was happening. My Bob was being taken from me by my uncle! I quickly ran over to then and jumped on top of Mikey.

"No uncle Mikey! Bob's mine!" I yelled as I tried to get Mikey off of Bob.

Bob laughed, "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

I nodded, "Yea, but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun." I felt hands grabbing me and I was lifted off of Mikey. I quickly realized that it was my dad. I was being taken somewhere. He sat me in the bathroom and quickly left, locking me in.

I was shocked. Why did he do that?!

"Why did you do that?" I yelled. I heard laughing coming from the other side.

Since I knew that nobody was going to answer me or let me out, I decided to ask when we were going to get to Peachtree.

There was no answer... "Is anybody out there?!" Still no answer...

"Did you die? Did the world end and you saved me by putting me in the bathroom? Hellooooo!" I looked out of the window to make sure the bus was still moving. It was.

"Okay, so the bus is moving, so that means you're still alive and the world didn't end. Did you put me in here to... do naughty stuff together?"I laughed and put my headphones in. I started to sing the first song that came on.

"1, 2, ready, go! I'm tired of boys who make me cry. They cheat on my and they tell me lies. I want a love who will never stray. When he sees other girls he looks away! And if he never kisses me well, that's alright. 'Cuz we can just, cuddle all night. Gay boyfriend! Gay boyfriend! I don't really care that you are queer. Gay boyfriend! Gay boyfriend! I never feel lonely when you are here!" I sang at the top of my lungs. I changed the song and started to sing that one too.

"My girlfriend's a dick magnet! My girlfriend's got a habit. She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots, tip the man she'll ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell. Dirty girl getting down, dance with guys from out of town. Grab her ass, acting tough; mess with her she'll fuck you up. No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, but she's coming back to my place tonight!"

"Eh! She moves her body like a cyclone; she makes me wanna do it all night long, going hard when you turn the spotlights on. Because she moves her body like a cyclone. Just like a cyclone. She moves her body like a cyclone; she makes me wanna do it all night long, going hard when you turn the spotlights on. Because she moves her body like a cyclone. A mighty cyclone."

"SHUT UP!!" I heard Frank yell. I stopped and took out my head phones and sat down. I looked up at the door and just stared at it. I'm scared for my life...

The next thing I knew, I was being lifted into the air. I looked up and saw my dad. He sat me down on the couch and smiled at me.

"We're in Peachtree," he told me. I smiled and looked out the window. I gave Brian directions to my friend's house. It only took a few minutes to get there. I had called him and told him that we would be arriving in about 5 minutes.

Finally, the bus stopped and we stepped off of the bus. I ran to the door and rang the bell. A few seconds passed, and the door opened. We hugged and all that sort of stuff, and I brought him back to the bus to introduce him.

"Everybody, this is my friend, Harry Whoppers."


End file.
